Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Funny Airline Announcements
1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine."
2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine."
Travel Myths & Mysteries !!
Have you heard that New Yorkers are rude, London is rainy, and China is just a shovel away? Here, the truth behind travel rumors
The Rumor: London is always gray and rainy, and the food is terrible.
The Rumor: London is always gray and rainy, and the food is terrible.
The Truth: "In terms of rainfall, it's actually low on the list," says Nicole Mitchell, a Weather Channel meteorologist. (The statistics: London gets 23 inches a year, while, on average, supposedly sunny Miami gets a whopping 60 and soggy Seattle gets 39.) "Because London is coastal, it gets drizzly during the winter. But, as with any place, you have to pick the right time to visit," says Mitchell. (She recommends the summer, when it's warmer and sunnier.) And as for the local fare, it has come a long way since the days of ubiquitous bangers and mash. "There was a time when English food was, by definition, bad food, but that reputation is about 10 years out of date," says Tim Zagat, a cofounder of Zagat Survey, a publisher of international restaurant guides. "Now it is one of the best places in the world to eat." (The turnaround is due in part to the increased availability of fresh ingredients.)
The Rumor: It is rude to make eye contact during conversation in Japan.
The Truth: In the Land of the Rising Sun, do not avert your gaze just yet. "That used to be the rule, back in the old days, during the Meiji and Taisho eras (the late 1800s and early 1900s)," explains Robert Whiting, a Japanese-culture expert and the author of "The Samurai Way of Baseball." "It was considered disrespectful, especially when talking to a superior." These days, however, "people in Japan act just like people in the West. Not making eye contact would be considered a bit odd when talking to someone, even the emperor," says Whiting.
The Rumor: Venice is sinking.
The Truth: Not so much, says Fabio Carrera, a native of Venice and a professor of urban studies and planning at the Worcester Polytechnic Institute, in Massachusetts. If by sinking you mean that the land is going under and losing elevation, then, no, that is no longer true," says Carrera. Once upon a time — from around 1900 up until the 1970s — Venice did dip deeper into the water, by nearly five inches, because the aquifer beneath it was being drained to provide water to the mainland. "When people realized what was happening, they stopped pumping water out, and Venice rebounded by about half an inch," says Carrera.
Still, the city is not totally out of hot water. Thanks to global warming and rising sea levels, Venice — along with other low-lying locales, like New Orleans — remains vulnerable to flooding. But as long as it stays one step ahead of the problem by incorporating preventive measures, like the underwater floodgates currently being constructed, Venice should be the home of many a piazza (and pigeon) for years to come.
The Rumor: New Yorkers are rude.
The Truth: Fuhgeddaboudit! "It's absolutely false that New Yorkers are unfriendly — they may seem standoffish at first, but that's just concealing a very big heart," insists Ed Koch, a former New York mayor and a quintessential New Yorker. (Hey, someone who appeared in "The Muppets Take Manhattan" should know.) So what is with the gruff exterior, then? Call it a coping mechanism for living in a city of more than 8 million people. "We believe that people want their own space, so we don't intrude unless asked for assistance. But if you're visiting from out of town, just walk over to any New Yorker and he'll immediately help you out," says Koch. And rather than feeling upset about a brusque cab driver or a bagel guy who seems to toss your change at you, remember that they are just trying to keep the wheels in motion. "People here want to help you get on with your day!" says Koch.
The Rumor: Afternoon thunderstorms in Florida always pass within an hour.
The Truth: "This does not always happen, but a lot of storms are pretty quick," says meteorologist Nicole Mitchell. "In the heat of the afternoon, there is enough of a contrast between the slightly cooler ocean air temperature and the warmer air temperature over land to trigger storms," she says. "By late afternoon, there is less of a contrast and you lose the trigger for the storms, so they start dying out." And Florida is not the only place you should keep an umbrella handy. Mitchell says the same conditions exist up and down the Gulf Coast, making the weather in places such as Biloxi, Miss.; Mobile, Ala.; and New Orleans equally erratic.
The Rumor: South of the equator, toilet water swirls in the opposite direction.
The Truth: This one goes straight down the commode. Wondering where that crackpot theory originated? "South of the equator, tornadoes go clockwise, while north of the equator, they go counterclockwise, because of the earth's rotation and something called Coriolis force. In principle, the same would happen to water in a toilet or a bath," explains Michael Goodchild, a professor of geography at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and a 2007 recipient of the field's highest honor, the Prix Vautrin Lud. "But the effect of Coriolis force on a small scale is very weak and outweighed by other forces, like the relative positions of the inlet faucet and the plug hole."
The Rumor: The Leaning Tower of Pisa will eventually topple over.
The Truth: It seems inevitable that the tilting medieval bell tower will take a dive someday. But the structure, which developed its famous wonky posture when its foundation settled into the soft ground beneath it, is actually on surprisingly solid footing. About 10 years ago, the base of the tower was reinforced with a combination of concrete and other bracing methods, decreasing the lean by 17 inches to 13 feet 6 inches. "It was the culmination of years of work and planning — the new foundation will last indefinitely," says Donald Friedman, a structural engineer at Old Structures Engineering, in New York City. "It is not going to tip. Now it has the heaviest foundation of anything in that whole city!"
The Rumor: In Russia, locally made vodka is cheaper than water.
The Truth: The answer is a flat-out nyet, says Paul Richardson, who has visited the country more than 20 times and is the publisher of Russian Life magazine. While locally made vodka can be nearly half as cheap in Russia as the imported stuff we buy here — prices start at around $2 a bottle in Moscow — it still outprices water by a long shot.
The Rumor: If you dug a hole straight through the Earth, you would probably make it to China.
The Truth: "It depends on where you start out," says author Michael Goodchild. "If you dug through the center of the Earth, you would emerge at a point opposite to where you started," he says. "Most of the time, if you started from land, you would end in water. But you would end up in China if you started digging in northern Chile." Oh yeah, there is one more little catch. Says Goodchild, "You would need a machine that could form a tunnel through liquid metal at a temperature of around 5,000 degrees." Um, try eBay?
The Rumor: There is a top-secret city beneath Disneyland.
The Truth: Legend has it that there's a top-secret command center under the theme park in Anaheim, Calif., but, alas, not even a wave of Tinker Bell's wand could make this a reality. "There is not much under there — certainly not a city," says Bob Sehlinger, who has visited the park hundreds of times over the past 20 years and recently wrote "The Unofficial Guide to Disneyland 2008." It is very likely that this rumor stems from a case of mistaken identity. As it turns out, sister amusement park Disney World, in Orlando, Fla., does have a subterranean setup of sorts, though it is not quite a metropolis. "In Disney World, there is something called utilidors — Disney-speak for a huge system of tunnels under the park, which allow costumed cast members to scurry underneath the property," explains Sehlinger.
Stupid Signs
Category:
Funny
By neogeo
Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
On a church door:
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
English sign in a German cafe:
MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.
Outside a photographer' s studio:
OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.
Outside a disco:
SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand:
QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish:
DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF
Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
Sign in a Japanese hotel:
SPORTS JACKETS MAY BE WORN BUT NO TROUSERS
Sign in Egyptian hotel:
IF YOU REQUIRE ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN DOOR AND SHOUT, "ROOM SERVICE!"
At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.�Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
"38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed."
In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship. ."
At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs. "
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."
In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
On a shopping mall marquee:
"Archery Tournament�Ears pierced"
Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store:
"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In a Maine restaurant:
"Open 7 days a week and weekends."
On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak."
In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished
."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."
On the grounds of a public school:
"No trespassing without permission."
On a Tennessee highway:
"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
Real Matrimony Ads
Category:
Funny
By neogeo
Hello To Viewvers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i
dont have male,
If
any
one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I
am not a good
education
but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u
welcome to my
heart...
when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or
send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya ~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family
from orissa state
she
is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and
other homework
(Homework?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with
me forever. he may
never
create any difficulties in my life or his life by
which the entire life
can
run smoothly. thank you
(The principle of running life smoothly was never so
easy!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he should be good looking and should have a service.
he Shoulsd have
one
brother and one sister. he should be educated.
(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every
moments of life. I
love
to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first
step of love. I am
looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love
myself
a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on
.
hold
my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
Pungpistha Inc.
I found this video on Youtube recently, although it is quite short and simple, the idea behind it is great. Pungpista Inc. is the brainchild of Jonathan who makes spontaneous ideas into videos. He says his ideas are not copied and he claims they are his original work. I believe him. His main idea is to show people that you dont have to be a real guru in acting to be in a film. Although he has just one video as of now, he promises he will upload more of his completed works soon. Have a look at the first one to come out of his production house aptly named, I AM.
Points to Ponder
Category:
Funny
By neogeo
- Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
- Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- What is the speed of darkness?
- Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
- Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.”
- Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too! - Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?













Bookmarkz 0 Comment